wrong to do so. It must be understood now that the urge to be associated with something feminine was so strong in me that I could not keep my oath. A few days after my father's funeral, I was fulfilling my desire by wearing my younger sister's clothes. Some of their clothes would fit me, and I would put on their hose, slips, bras, etc., and hide if I thought the risk of getting caught by my family was too great.
I think everyone would agree with me in saying that dressing was to look like a woman, trying to feel as she would, but also that it was for sexual desires. Maybe I'm different, I don't know, but in the past and sometimes now the desire to be dressed goes away after I have been sat- isfied sexually. This period usually lasts for only five minutes or so, and I've noticed that the more I dress the less I think of sexual satisfaction.
Meanwhile, I'll continue with my life. We moved from the town where I was raised to another not far away, and I went to work printing in a box factory. One night while I was dressing in our new home, I decided to put lipstick on. Never before this time had I tried any kind of makeup so you can realize how thrilling it was to put the lipstick on my lips. Having gone this far, I decided to experiment some more by putting on rouge and line my eyes with an eyeliner pencil. My whole outlook on dressing as a woman now changed because this new “me” made me long for the day when I could be completely dressed including a wig, and having a chance to stay dressed for quite awhile without having to worry about being interrupted.
There were many days while I was in the box factory that I would wear panties, girdle, and hose to work. Doing the kind of work I did, I had to be very cautious and careful not to get caught because I was sure nobody in that business would understand. I learned to turn the garters upside down in order to get away from the little hump that would show under my pants.
Eventually, I quit the box factory and went into commercial printing, and ever since I have been a commercial printing pressman (pretty good too). Around this same time I fell in love with a girl named Donna. One day I was going to shut off my dressing desires, but got caught by my mother while I was trying to dispose of some hose. Instead of telling her a lie, I told her about me and the things I had done. Mother did not understand why I wanted to dress, but she didn't object, either. So instead of quitting my dressing because of my coming marriage, I would stay home from work and dress to the fullest extent that I ever had done
5